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When I signed up for my strong woman’s contest 5 years ago, I knew I might not win, but I knew I could do the exercises. I was filled with anxiety and adrenaline but not fear.

When I signed up for my first half marathon 4 years ago, I never had a moment of doubt. I knew I could do it, I knew I could train and cross the finish line.

When I signed up for my first trail run, I had butterflies, but like the half, I knew without a doubt that I would complete the race.

For the first time ever, I’m beginning to experience real fear. And truly doubt my abilities. In fact, I texted Amanda on Friday with this…

Let’s get real, will you allow me to be vulnerable today?

Types Of Fear

There are several different types of fears, but for this post, let’s focus on the most common:

1. Innate Fears: Fears of spiders, snakes, thunder, etc. These fears are often minor and not likely to keep you back from being successful in life. (Unless you have a severe phobia).
2. Identity Fears: Mostly have to do with your identity, being judged by others or by yourself leading to emotional or psychological pain such as disappointment or embarrassment.

It’s the identity fear that I am dealing with at the moment.

The Fear Of Setting A Goal Too Big

7 weeks ago I registered my husband and me for a 50K trail run that is dubbed the “hardest 50K in the world”. It sounded amazing and beautiful, and while I was positive it would be a challenge, I also thought the tagline might be a bit of an exaggeration. I mean, wouldn’t you? A trail race in the Appalachian Mountains? How could that be the HARDEST trail race in the world?

So we signed up, started training and planning.

Fast forward to this week…

The race director posted this:

And This…

And now Dan and I are both scared out of our minds (we already have our LifeStraw) and wondering if we have what it takes to make it though. With only a 50% estimated success rate, are we going to be stronger than 50% of the field?

I don’t know. We’re just a little couple from the beach that loves fitness, loves setting big goals and loves accomplishing those big goals.

Now that it’s clear we may not, I’m having a hard time.

For the first time ever, I am wondering if we set a goal we weren’t ready for.

Luckily, I have an awesome coach and friend…

When do you know if you’re capable of accomplishing something big? When should you let fear actually hold you back and when should you accept fear, and use it to move forward?

Fear Can Be Paralyzing

I don’t think it’s a secret that fear can stop you from being the best you.

I’ve seen amazing women fail to lose weight, fail to run their dream race, fail to accomplish a lifting goal not because they couldn’t but because they were afraid.

It’s scary. When we want something so bad, it’s scary to think we may not be able to achieve it so instead of trying, we just give up so we don’t have the small chance of having to accept failure and disappointment.

But think about that feeling of success. It’s so sweet. When you have a doubt that something can’t happen and then it does…

It’s the sweetest victory.

A little fear is required to feel the full magnitude of what you accomplished! A lot of fear can stop you from ever trying something new and amazing.

So how do you know if something is too much? If you should give it a go?

• Can you make a safe training plan with the time you have? If you can make a plan on how to accomplish the fitness goal, then yes, go for it!
• Make a pros and cons list. How will you feel if you don’t try to tackle your goal? How will you feel if you do tackle it and accomplish it?
• Do you have support? Most people will have at least one person in their lives who will question their abilities. But when you’re already in doubt, it’s really helpful to have at least one close person on your side. If EVERYONE in your circle questions you goal, then maybe you’re not ready. Scale back and choose a more obtainable goal to start as you work your way up.
• What’s going on in your life right now? Hit new fitness goals, weight loss goals, training for races, takes time and dedication. Are you at a place in your life right now where you can focus on your goal? If not, then don’t be upset if you can’t achieve it. Timing really is everything.
• Do you really want it? Pretty self explanatory.

Fear, Go Screw Yourself

I mean that with the most love and respect. But this is my naked truth and basically writing this post out has helped me to re-evaluate the situation and walk through the points above. While at the same time helping maybe you aim for something BIG.

Basically, I can do this. I am going for it. I am not going to let fear stop me from something I want so badly. I am sure that as we get closer to the big day, the fear and doubt will build. Mostly because life is so busy and as we get closer training gets longer and longer and harder and harder to fit in.

But I’ll manage. Dan will manage. We’ll have an amazing support team of my mom (her second trail race attendance), Ashton and Jared. These 3 will help us when we feel fear creeping up.

What will happen if I don’t succeed? Will the world fall apart? Will you love me any less? No, but after weeks of hard training of course I’ll be disappointed. But at least I won’t have to handle not trying at all.

Try. That Is All.

And that’s what I am keeping in my head and what I want you to take.

We are all going to be filled with fear, but don’t let it stop you from trying. Take a deep breath and just go. You might not succeed as you dreamed, but remember, you’re not going to be tossed away and no one will love you any less.

I would rather try and fail at this race then to sit in the cabin thinking about the other runners trying to make it up and down the mountains.

Okay, I feel so much better.

I played golf this past weekend! Haha, first time every playing 18 holes and only my second time ever on a golf course. More on that later this week.

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