The Naked Truth 2: The Struggle Between Fitness & Wanting A Family
By admin
Let’s just jump right in. This topic has been on my mind for quite some time now and I simply can’t avoid it any longer.
First, I am sharing these personal thoughts because I know a lot of women struggle with the same issue, or at least similar.
I also know that it’s going to get heaps of opinions. Opinions are cool, but I ask for you to respect both me and my blog when sharing yours.
Okay, got that off my chest, now let me share more of myself than most people may prefer, yes?
It’s no secret, I’m not getting any younger. Next month Dan and I will celebrate being together for a decade. 10 years, wow. We were so young!
Good-bye 20s, hello 30s…
Of course we get the question ALL THE TIME, seriously, all the time…
I don’t know why this just hit me typing that, but why does everyone assume we want children to begin with? Why is it, “when will you?” and not, “do you want kids”?
I guess it’s not a big deal because we do.
At my last visit to the doctor, my OB/GYN (she’s lucky I love her) reminded me that I’m getting older and if I want more than 1-2 kids, it might be wise to get started.
Thanks Doc. Thanks a lot.
Anyways… I’m in a weird place right now. If you had asked me last year, I would have said I wanted kids as soon as we could. When all the pieces were in place and Dan was ready.
Last year, I was definitely ready! I was craving a baby almost like my uterus was begging for a child every time we were around our niece or friends’ kids. Weird?
My niece is pretty much the coolest kid ever. Not that I’m biased.
But now that we’re actually talking about the whole family thing, and made the compromise that this would be a year of adventures, races, hikes, etc. then we would end the year or the beginning of next trying for our family.
Great, right? A plan! I love plans!
Change Of Plans?
Except now that we’re planning all these amazing adventures, I’m finding myself craving more and enjoying my level of fitness and new passions.
We now watch mountaineering movies during dinner, and dream of month long hikes on the John Muir Trail, adventures in Alaska, and hell, I joke all the time that I want to climb Mt McKinley.
I’m studying rock climbing, alpine style, and we’re researching mountains (the Training For the New Alpinism book is awesome for all fitness lovers!). Knowing that to do something of this caliber would take months, even a full year+ to train for.
Of course my impatience makes me want to start these adventures as soon as possible (or at least training). Like, RIGHT NOW!
Basically, I don’t know if I want to give up this level of fitness for months or even years to have a child and then work for more months to get back to where I am.
Will having a child ruin takeaway my chances to do these new and exciting fitness adventures? Will I be able to bounce back and be as fit as I am right now?
Selfish? Yes. But is that a bad thing? 30 isn’t old, no matter what my doctor says.
Torn
I’m torn as a woman and as a fitness enthusiast. I know “they” say no time is every the right time, and I know that we can travel and share our love of the outdoors with a child (and children)…
But it also means putting these adventures on hold for now.
I almost said putting life on hold, but that’s not right. Life with a baby isn’t stagnant, anything but. However, it’s not as if I have a child and BAM! I’m back and ready to hike, climb, run and lift.
The fear of having to start back as a beginner scares the sh$ t out of me. Just being honest.
I have friends with babies and I’ve seen the struggle to get back to where they were physically before their pregnancy (even those that stayed fit throughout the 9 months).
I don’t know maybe I’m being selfish, maybe a scaredy cat, or maybe I’m just making excuses to make it seem as if no time is the right time.
Or maybe…
We really are meant to do all these amazing things RIGHT NOW!?
They say (I’m not sure who “they” are) that there will be signs, so that’s what I’m doing. I am living each month to the fullest and training as if I’m going to embark on the greatest adventure of my life…
And which ever happens (some huge climbing trip or a family), it will live up to that.
Rule of Thumb: Stop Asking People When They’re Having Kids
Just like you should never ever ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you are 100% sure, people need to stop with the “when are you having kids” question. It’s getting old. And it’s putting stress on couples that don’t need it.
What if the couple asked has been trying for months, if not years? It’s a heart breaking question.
What if the couple doesn’t want kids?
And what if the couple just wants to keep it to themselves?
To be honest, getting pregnant is an amazing miracle and one that many women aren’t able to experience. I am a statistics person, 6% of women in America experience fertility issues. While that number isn’t huge, it’s still a number. When Dan and I decide to begin trying, we’re keeping it to ourselves.
For once, I am keeping something private, private. I suppose that will be the real miracle!
All of that to say, We’ll start having kids when we feel we’re ready.
We’re not ready.
So for now, I’m going hiking, and racing, and climbing, and kettlebelling, and doing all the things I want.
